“Every family is like a dark forest. From the outside you can never really see what’s on the inside.” ~ Unknown
A family is created when two individuals join to become one unit. The choice of a spouse is by far the most important choice that we make in our entire life. In fact, this selection is critical because it determines our future (and of course that of our spouse). One of the key learning objectives (if not the most important) of our early years is the ability to choose the best partner. Therefore, parents must teach by example proper family relationships but in order to do so, they in turn must have made the correct selection of a partner with whom they can model the best possible family. What a monumentally difficult problem this is given our already complex lives… The topic of how to choose is too complex for a single blog post. Here I’ll mention a few points about families.
Each family must strive to create an atmosphere of shelter for its members, a place where we can feel free and be free to feel. The husband and wife must help each other heal from external wounds. The support of a spouse is more important than money, houses, the environment and anything else. This support can give wings so we can fly and lack of it can clip our wings so we can never fly. Our external problems are often rooted in internal family matters showing up as symptoms elsewhere. Our issues often arise from the fact that men and women think differently. I am sure there are scientific studies regarding the differences in the brains. These are all fine, but we as couples must be so united that no other force, internal or external, no doubt, judgement, uncertainty, mistake, fear, misunderstanding, problem, bump in the road can separate us or make us weaker as a family unit. Love, nurturing of love, and not letting anything get in its way is how we make the bond as strong as possible.
Much has been written on this topic already but our children require their parents to always remain united. They require that we stand as one and not give them mixed messages because they need to model after us every day. They watch us daily to learn how to resolve conflicts, express emotions, provide for each other, so they can do the same in their lives.
As a result, who you choose for a boyfriend or girlfriend, fiance, spouse is absolutely critical. You become your spouse and s/he becomes you. This transformation is slow, yet impossible to avoid and is required for family unity. Make the right choice, stick to it, improve it, work on it for as long as you are alive. The results, as always, will speak for themselves.