I read Random thoughts by a childhood friend where one of the sentences caused me to pause for a minute and think. The thought that caused me to stop was “… why would I never tell my closest people some of the things I write here.” How else can we be close with those closest to us if we are not able to share all our thoughts and feelings? This reminded me of a lesson learned when I was maybe eleven or twelve.
Two of my aunts lived in Georgia and we were there for a visit. My brother and I were walking with our cousin (he passed away a few years ago) to his apartment. It was dark outside, probably around ten or eleven at night. It was a clear night. Next to apartment buildings there were usually places with tables and chairs, maybe a roof for people to gather, play cards, or talk (the Russian word for these spots literally translated means small conversation). So, as we got closer to one of these areas, I noticed half a dozen men gathered around a table. My cousin, perhaps by instinct, said hello in Georgian, loud enough to be heard. We kept walking. I heard no response and a few steps later had to ask him why didn’t they say hello back? Again as if by instinct, he said “I don’t know, I said my hello.” These words have stuck with me ever since.
I try to say my “hello” whenever I can and every time I do I remember that walk. It is strange how small experiences that sometimes last an instant end up with us for a lifetime. Sharing what I write with people close to me is my way of saying my “hello.” Whether they’ll read or respond is really up to them. Over the past few months, I have told a number of people about this site. I’m surprised that people who I thought would read every post, do not read any and people who I thought would never read anything, read quite frequently. The big question in my mind is whether the two little angels to whom my life is now dedicated will ever read what I write here now. Responding to my friend, I could not share with my kids (people closest to me) what I write for they are still little. There are many reasons why we are not able to tell our closest people what we think but I’ll still say my “hello” just as often as I get a chance… Who knows maybe someday I’ll hear a response.